The musical card...(3)

An entire world was standing in front of her...glorious...shining...
She was looking at him...she couldn't find words, neither breath...
He was never that handsome...that beautiful...his smile was enlightening all the entrance...and his soft look was hurting her...she felt so miserable, so messy...
He was staring at her...scanning all over her body draped by a small blanket...
And finally, he broke that chatty silence...
"I missed you so much..."
Oh...those tears again...burning her cheeks...drowning her face...she still couldn't say a word...
He slowly handled her a folded paper...she took it with a shaking hand...she could hardly hold it...and she opened it...then...a soft music started playing...and she found a little phrase, she never even dreamed about it from him..."I LOVE YOU"...
She wanted to cry...but she couldn't...she felt suffocated...
He stepped at her...and she couldn't figure out how she ended up between his warm arms...
And she smiled...

The musical card...(2)

That day was not special...and it wouldn't be...
Or maybe it is...it depends...
For a love story, it was a deceiving day...for her, maybe it was special...it the first among a series of long desperate ones...because finally, she got desperate...
Desperate of what? of him? She should be...but no, how could she be desperate of him...how could she be desperate of her life? ...she loves him...she breathes him...he's becoming a necessity...something vital she could never get rid of anymore...it is not a choice, it is an evidence...
She knows she still feels him deep inside her...but she can't see his picture in the roof anymore...it's blur...and sometimes it doesn't even exist...
The places...Photos...Music...Words which used to wake up her sorrows, make her laugh or cry could now step by peacefully and leave without damages...they never go unseen, she surely remarks them...remembers him...and it stops there...nothing happens...
The postman could now come ten times a day...she doesn't even move a finger...
Because she is desperate...not of him, but of receiving that card!
And if that card wouldn't come, there is no need to miss him or cry of longing, because she got used of him being always away...she just waits for the next meeting coincidence...any enthusiasm? Not really...
....
Every new day is a trouble...even the sun was conspiring...it spends a whole day to rise...and wouldn't set until that wild hill swallows it, to let those little creatures get covered by the darkness and fall asleep after a long long day...
That morning was lazy too, and the sun starts his fight...
Knock ...knock
"Coming...."
Knock ...knock
"Why knocking, we have a bell!!!"
Her mother doesn't like people who knock instead of ringing...she thinks that those people's intention is to force the door...why?
She was in the living room...and heard her mother speaking with someone at the door, she couldn't recognize the other voice, but it was certainly a man...
She suddenly found her mother next to her, looking at her with half closed eyes...
"There is someone at the door; he wants to see you...move"
"See me? Who wants to see me?...could you tell him that I am asleep?"
"I already told him that you're not...move...move..."
she got up very slowly...she was really in a mess...she stepped to the door half closed, opened it a little bit and leaned on its side lazily, looked outside and said :
"Yes...here I a...I...my god..."
The entire world was standing in front of her...

The musical card...

...ding ding...ding ding...
She felt like her heart was about to fly away....she put on her slippers very quickly and went down the stairs....she saw her mother shutting the door already...she tried to be calm and asked:
“Who was that?...”
“The postman...”
“And what did he bring to us...?”
“The usual....”
She went back to her room, prattling…“Damn dad’s letters!! All we get of him is a bunch of boring stuff...puff”.
She got into her room, threw her slippers and ran to her bed...she lied on her back and kept staring at the roof...she can see only one picture...a haunting picture...it's beautiful, but she hates it...because she can't see anything else...
She is beginning to believe now…and she understood why her mother was always shouting…“I know that I could never trust you…”
But, between her parents, there have been always problems…and we can easily find an excuse for her father, and may be make one if necessary…the two of them are in a mutual fight, and “enemies” can’t, eventually, trust each other…
And in her case, is there any fight…? Any misunderstanding….any unsolved problems…even solved problems don’t …at least for her…
And what about him? ...she doesn’t remember anything of him being angry with her…even the goodbye wasn’t that warm, neither that cold…she could never know what’s in his mind …
She was thinking…”May be he is busy…”, and she smiled for this thought …“No, he is too lazy to be busy”...
“Could he be that lazy for sending a card…All I am asking for is a little musical card, not even a letter, it would be too much effort for him…”
And suddenly…she got up…she sit on the side of the bed, her eyes wide open…and said loudly :
“what if…??? No way…I’ll kill him…I swear…”
And she went all in tears…she feels like she is becoming crazy…but she can’t do anything for that…she can’t even hold her tears…
“what am I…a child? How can a simple thought make me cry like that!!!!!”
“but it’s not that simple…because if it was true…I know…my life ends right here!!!”
….
She was spending all her days and nights that way: thinking…dreaming…doubting…she was talking to herself almost all the time, sometimes she laughs, and sometimes she cries…till that day…

hello me...

Hello me, hello me...
My first message in my first blog...
This is it for now ...:)